The Reluctant Santa

Today we went on the hill-walking club's annual "Mince Pies" outing. The company is always convivial and it's a really nice festive treat. Club members and their friends bring along children and grandchildren and it's always well attended. This year our walk was to the Forth and Clyde Canal and the Antonine Wall; a circular walk starting and ending at the Auchinstarry Marina, where we had a slap up breakfast before setting off. The weather was absolutely beautiful; sunny with blue skies. It was much milder than last week but still quite icy underfoot in some places so we had to watch out. We set off along the canal towpath before heading up Croy Hill where we had lovely, if slightly urban, views up the valley. Then we went on to Bar Hill which was steeper than I had anticipated but manageable - at least it was grassy and not icy! We went down a little to have lunch just below the trig point out of the wind, and as we walked on we saw the foundations of a Roman fort. We then descended to Twechar and back along the canal towpath to Auchinstarry. It was a good walk. James and I saw four swans flying above us us as we walked along, with David sliding recklessly but enthusiastically along beside us on the icy path. Our festive celebration was held at the Coachman Hotel in Kilsyth where we had a function room booked. There was a quiz and a raffle and much drinking of mulled wine and singing of festive songs. However there was a problem - no one had volunteered to be Santa! With some persuasion (from me and hill-walking club Heather) James very reluctantly agreed to do it. To be fair, being Santa goes against everything James stands for - his horror of showing off and his lack of enthusiasm for most children! He took so long getting ready in the gents toilet that I thought he might have climbed out of the window and done a runner. However he emerged wearing his santa outfit and looking very grim, and Heather helped him to put on his voluminous wig and beard. Finally James entered the party room as everyone sang "Jingle Bells" and I have to say that he did a very decent job. Santa's Little Helper (Diane) kept him on the right track as they distributed the presents to both children and adults, and James sportingly interjected a few appropriate phrases such as "Have you been good?" and "Ho Ho Ho!" The general opinion was that he was a good Santa but needed to grow his paunch a bit more. When it was all over and he had changed back into his civvies I asked if he had enjoyed this new experience even a wee bit. "No" came the firm response, "It's just not me."