Definitely Summer

The temperature has dropped and there have even been a few showers, but the hot spell of the last week has pushed us over the boundary into summer. The hedges and trees are thick with greenery and there is a summer feel to the air. It is now the beginning of the extended holiday weekend for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, which gives me five days off work. Except that I have volunteered to supervise an SQA exam tomorrow. I will not be the invigilator; I will be there to make sure that the pupil turns up and check that they are coping ok.
Last night I was at Book Club at Rosemary's. The book was "The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox" and it was a really fun, relaxed evening. We all had a good laugh and ended up staying very late, so I was tired all of today. After school I gave Davie a lift over to "Stubo's" house where he was meeting up with his old school friends. Today was David's last day at his job at the stables because his induction day at his new school will be next Wednesday. I feel quite excited about this and I think that he's looking forward to it. He took in some boxes of biscuits for his colleagues. When he started there he didn't like horses much but he has grown to be fond of them and has learned a lot. We have enjoyed his stories about all the ponies including Rory the Ugliest Pony, which I think would be a good title for a children's book! 

Sweltering at school

During this hot weather I am very lucky that my department is on the ground floor. We had all the windows open, producing a pleasant breeze. This was not the case upstairs; the classrooms on the first and second floors were like ovens. It was a good although busy day and at lunch time I gave all of our staff strawberry split ice lollies, which produced great excitement. The pupils all got ice poles that Jackie got last week; there was a party atmosphere in the playground.
Later I took Davie to Carol and Craig's to collect his new glasses, they are very smart. He kept thanking me (he's so lovely!) so I suggested that a good way to say thank you would be to make the dinner, and he did! This meant that James and I could sit in the garden enjoying a pre-dinner drink. It was most pleasant and the dinner turned out very well. 

Proust in the Garden

The glorious weather continues, with the temperatures today reaching 27 degrees here, hotter this afternoon than it is in London or Paris! As I often wonder when the weather is like this, why do we choose to live in a climate where this is the exception rather than the norm? James' answer to this is, "If the weather was great all the time we'd soon get tired of it." I am not convinced by this, I think I'd take at least a decade to get tired of it, at which point I could always move back to Scotland. This is all idle speculation of course; James and I are far too deep-rooted here to seriously consider moving to another country. And which one anyway? We wouldn't want a language barrier, it would have to have a safe culture and the climate would have to be just right, with some seasons to give it variety but a better amount of warm weather. Sydney in Australia was pretty pleasant during the Australian "winter", but I've heard that it's scorching in the summer. I will have to give this some more thought.
So I have spent all day in the garden, doing a bit of marking, reading Proust, chatting to James and the boys, and admiring how beautiful even the most everyday things look in the sunshine. James does not have my talent for idleness so he has been doing a bit of gardening and sanding down the garden furniture, but even he has had a nap on a mat on the grass this afternoon. I'm about to make dinner for Grandma, which we will eat outside. 

Sun, Sea and Eurovision

James suggested that since the weather is predicted to stay hot and sunny for the next few days, today would be a good day to spend at the beach. So we packed up a disposable barbecue, food and drinks, and by 11 a.m. we were our favourite "local" beach at Troon - not the main beach, the south beach which is much quieter. By local beach I mean that it is our favourite for a day trip; we have been lucky enough to visit many much more beautiful beaches around Scotland and further afield, but Troon South is an old favourite that is suitable for a day trip. James and I have been going there together for more than thirty years, and the boys have been going there with us all of their lives. Seldom have we been there on a day quite as hot as today! We are all very happy on a beach and Ally and Davie were soon kicking a football about while James and I went for a walk out on the rocks before the tide came in. Then it was barbecue time, Ally made a grand job of the burgers while I buttered the rolls; we had potato salad and coleslaw on the side. We walked along to the river, paddled, James brewed up some coffee, we read, napped, built a fire, toasted marshmallows and paddled some more. We ended up spending about six and a half hours on the beach and it was great fun. By the time we set off home we all felt as if we had had quite enough fresh air for one day!
When we got home we opened up the windows onto the garden - it was like being abroad! However worrying news came from Dundee. Jamie had been rowing on the River Tay and then went for a swim. When he got to the other bank he stepped onto some mud - and under it was a piece of broken glass that sliced deeply into his big toe. He couldn't get it to stop bleeding so he had to go to hospital where they x-rayed it because there was glass still in it and then they "irrigated" it using local anaesthetic and poked around in it, which Jamie said was very painful. He has five stitches in his toe and needs to take antibiotics. He had to miss the ceilidh that he was supposed to be going to tonight and sounded very fed up.
In the evening we followed our family tradition (James says it's not his tradition!) of watching the Eurovision song contest. It is a very pleasant way to spend a summer's evening. Engelbert did us proud and sang his heart out but unfortunately he came second last! The Russian Grannies' song although gimmicky was actually quite catchy and they did very well. My favourite was Lithuania because I quite liked the song and the singer was a cheery fellow and a good dancer. Italy was also good, I thought the singer was reminiscent of Amy Winehouse. I thought that Greece, Germany and Sweden were also good, and Turkey was weird but I liked it. We all chose a favourite, the winner to be whoever had the country that came highest in the rankings. David chose Lithuania so I took Italy, both got on respectably in the scoring. James (reluctantly, because he is a bit of a Eurovision cynic) eventually chose Albania, which he didn't even like; he chose this on purpose to make a mockery of my contest, but they actually did very well, coming fifth. Ally chose Sweden (Ally is a truly Eurovision boy who had actually gone to the trouble of researching which tunes were top tipped and found out that the Swedish song is already in the charts in fourteen countries). As usual there was a bit of political voting; some countries voted for their friends and neighbours, for example Cyprus gave Greece twelve points, and Portugal gave twelve points to Spain. However the runaway winner was Sweden so Ally was delighted! David was bitter that Albania was in the first five and still maintains that Lithuania was the best! How we do enjoy Eurovision! 

Synchronicity

After another evening of basking in the sunshine, James and I were watching a programme about his all time favourite music - Pink Floyd. I happened to mention that it's a very long time since we have seen the film "The Wall", and James said "Well, you might see it sooner than you think because I have just ordered it on Amazon." David and I immediately exchanged glances, because here was an example of something that David calls "synchronicity" or "The Bader Meinhoff effect", which means that an unusual coincidence has occurred. Yes, I know that the film "The Wall" crossed my mind when we were watching a programme about Pink Floyd; that is not the coincidence - the coincidence is that James had JUST ORDERED the film! It's synchronicity!
I was reading some blogs when I was in the garden and there was a reference to an argument that had taken place on the comments section of another blog. I followed the link and found it to be quite interesting. A woman who has a blog about design had posted that she had just bought some nail varnish. Nothing interesting there. However another blogger had written a comment along the lines of "Your business must be doing well for you to afford such expensive nail varnish! Ha ha just joking, I like it." the Design blogger had then responded to say that she found the comment to be unhelpful and passive-aggressive, she felt that women should not snipe at other women who have worked hard and are doing well. There then followed a huge discussion from other people, most supporting the design blogger, and a few thinking that she was being a bit hard on the person who made the comment. It has certainly given me food for thought. I can see both sides (typical me) and I felt sorry for the person who made the comment and then got so heavily criticised, but on reflection I have had quite a few of these "passive-aggressive" comments over the years. A good example is when I did chartered teacher which I worked very hard to achieve and which I did think made me a better teacher. One of my (ex) colleagues said in seemingly friendly tones "Well Susan, you've done a lot of paperwork and that's the only difference". It was said so pleasantly that I didn't even realise how rude it was at the time. There was a lot more than paperwork in achieving chartered teacher. And when Jamie got into medicine, the Mum of a boy in his class said "It's a lottery!" when they heard the news, which was untrue and insulting but said with a smile and a laugh. What a cheek. Again I just sat there not knowing how to respond. I wonder if everyone gets remarks like these or if I just seem like such a wimp that some people think they can get away with saying anything to me! I have to say though that these people are very much in a minority of all the very nice people that I am lucky to have met in my life. 

Happy Anniversary and News

James and I remembered last night that today is our 27th wedding anniversary. We agreed not to buy each other a card; instead we will go out for dinner tomorrow night. However today James broke the agreement by sending me a huge bunch of flowers to school! They are very lovely - roses and freesia (my favourite flowers). I can hardly believe that we have been married for twenty-seven years - well over half of my life. The weather today continued sunny and hot - very hot. It was beautiful weather for the sports day at my school but the pupils were sweltering and drinking lots of water. My colleagues and I spent a lot of the afternoon on toilet duty! The events all went very well and a couple of our own pupils from the base excelled themselves so I felt very proud of them. I was thinking of Jamie because he had his big presentation today. He had to present his dissertation to two leading orthopaedic surgeons and then had to undergo a grilling in the "viva", which is an oral examination. He must have done well because later in the afternoon I got a text as follows:-
"Hey, how are you?
James Anderson BMSc (Hons) 2.1"
I was so delighted! I phoned him straight away to tell him so. It's amazing that he got his results so quickly. Jamie sent the same text to James who phoned me from Birmingham airport; he was delighted too! James was delayed at Birmingham until six so he didn't get home until eight, however when he was there he bought a set of replacement headphones for David - he accidentally ran over David's headphones with the lawn mower yesterday and David was very upset. Although David really shouldn't have left his headphones on the grass. I think this was very kind of James. So it has been a very good day! When I got home I went out to my hammock and I was so happy I started singing one of my favourite songs, "Wild Montana Skies" until Christine shouted to me over the fence that Brian was laughing at my singing. This amused me very much. A celebratory family curry ensued and now I am back in my hammock at quarter past nine at night wearing t-shirt and shorts and it's still lovely and warm. The boys are watching a programme about hill-climbing with James and Jack is sitting on the slabs near me looking very happy on this gorgeous evening.
"Give him a fire in his heart, give him a light in his eyes, give him the wild wind for a brother, and the wild Montana skies!" Classic John Denver! 

Emblems of perfect happiness

I was on a training course this morning at a hospital in deepest Lanarkshire. As I queued at the traffic lights I decided to put the hood down on my car, and as I pressed the button to do so, the hood rose up and folded down. This is the one of the two things that I love about my car; the hood and the colour. Anyway I then noticed a wee school girl walking along the pavement with her Dad and she was saying "How does she do that?" and pointing to the car. She reminded me of a young me, skinny with red hair. When I got to my meeting I noticed that a lot of the attendees were about my age and about my current shape. It made me think that when some people get older we are so busy with family and jobs, that it is easy to neglect our own health and fitness. Yes I know that this sounds like an excuse, and it is an excuse because there were some really fit looking people at the meeting too. And it made me think that I would like to be in the fit group. Anyway I left school nice and sharp in the afternoon to make the most of this marvellous weather. I think is reached about 24 degrees here this afternoon. I am sitting in the garden wearing the sundress that David disapproves of, and I am actually sitting in the shade because I was finding it too hot in the hammock! It's great! One of my favourite Philip Larkin poems mentions summer days like this one:
"Too often summer days appear
Emblems of perfect happiness
I can't confront"
and I love this way of putting the uneasiness that perfect weather sometimes makes me feel. As if my own happiness is falling short of what it should be on such a lovely day. But just now I feel very contented! And so does Jack, who is lying in the flowered nearby. 

Jack likes the summer

I emerged from work today into an absolutely beautiful evening, so when I got home I put on the dinner and then sat outside in the garden. James was mowing the grass and Jack was lying on the gravel just outside the French windows absorbing the sunlight into his fur. Jack looked so happy, he is a real sun-worshipper. Many times this winter and spring I have seen him looking sadly through the windows at the rain, trying to steel himself to go outside to do the toilet. But today he was loving being outside and when I sat on the bench he came over and jumped up on my knee, which is very unusual because when he is outside he prefers to see himself as a big jungle cat and keep his distance.
I was writing the other day about how the french windows make me appreciate the garden more, and in fact I think they bring the garden almost into the house! As I write this there are various wild creatures walking or hopping around only a few feet from me. There is a great big grey pigeon with a white collar at the back of its neck striding around on the slabs. There is a grey squirrel eating some left over pizza on the bird table. There is another, smaller and darker grey squirrel running around under the trampoline. And there is a brown bird which I think is a female blackbird on the wall. Earlier on there were two magpies and a starling as well. I feel like a Spring watch presenter sitting here! You might wonder what the bold Jack is making of all these tasty visitors to his garden. Well he is sitting on the radiator inside, watching them but clearly with no intention of seeing them off the premises. 

A fine day

I got up at eight to give Grandma her eye drops and found that it was a fine, sunny morning, warmer than it has been for weeks. I went back home and had breakfast outside then had a brilliant morning pottering around the house and garden. The boys got up during the course of the morning and Christine invited me round for a while. The garden was full of children playing, it was nice to see David running around outside after all his football viewing yesterday - after the Scottish Cup Final he watched the Bayern Munich v Chelsea match last night which he tells me was very exciting and went to penalties - Chelsea won. While he and Kyle watched the match I had indulged myself with a chick flick which none of my boys would have tolerated called "I Don't Know How She Does It" which was a fun piece of frippery. After lunch I took Grandma up to the Heritage Park for a walk; it was lovely and warm but she was wearing her coat and was shocked that I was wearing t-shirt and jeans. She said I wasn't wearing a jacket out of "bravado"! We had a pleasant walk then a coffee before heading home. James arrived home bronzed and exhausted after a good weekend of walking that had ranged from snow on the top of Slioch and hailstones to warm sunshine. Grandma came round for dinner and we all caught up on our news. Later I was testing Ally on his Latin vocabulary and he was impressed with how many words I knew! On the news - Megrahi the Lockerbie bomber has died. Some say he was innocent, others that he was guilty, most people seem to agree that he was a shady character travelling about on a false passport whether he did this crime or not. Like many people I have very strong emotions about the Lockerbie bombing and I have no idea what the truth is. But it does annoy me that the public were lied to by the Scottish government about him being released on "compassionate grounds" with only weeks to live. I know that it is hard to predict with great accuracy how long a terminally ill patient has to live. But we were told that it was a very short time and in fact it has been two and a half years. I just don't think that the doctors could have got it that wrong. It's not that I was wishing for Megrahi's death, however I believed that the Scottish government was acting out of compassion for a convicted murderer with only weeks to live. Now I have a feeling of somehow being made a fool of. I would like to see the doctors who made the diagnosis come forward and explain - maybe there is a good explanation and I would like to hear it. Or was it all about trade deals with Libya? 

Candy Apple Red

Well here I am at the beginning of a sunny Saturday evening and I must say that I have had a tremendous weekend so far. James is away climbing - this weekend is Miriam's last Munro - and I was very happy to be left to my own devices. Yesterday was busy, busy, busy and at the end of the day I had to return a pile of rucksacks that we hired for our recent expedition. This would have been straightforward if I hadn't idiotically missed a turning that I know very well and had to drive round and round until I was back on track. Having divested myself of the rucksacks and had a friendly chat with one of my old walking chums, I headed back to school to do some admin before going over to Jackie's for a curry. Before we ordered it we watched a broadcast on television of the Olympic torch arriving in Britain for this summer's Olympics. David Beckham, Seb Coe and Boris Johnson were interviewed and it did feel like quite a special event. We had a delicious curry - I will definitely be going back to Danny Singh's - and a lovely chat that went on a lot longer than either of us realised! Jackie has become a true friend. When I got home the boys were still up, playing with their computers, and waiting for me was my replacement Kitchen Aid mixer! I knew that the old one (I had chosen a colour that didn't match my worktop) was being collected this morning, but I did not dream that the new one would be delivered so quickly! All credit to the firm I ordered it from - Harts of Stur - for excellent service! As soon as I saw it I knew that Candy Apple Red is the colour for me - I love it!
This morning I had a long lie and then Ally asked me to drive him over to his school to collect his saxophone which he needed for a gig this evening. However when we got there the place was absolutely deserted and we couldn't get in. I was wondering whether I would be able to hire a saxophone for Ally at short notice, when he phoned his friend Dougie and it turned out that his friends had already collected the saxophone for him! What a wild goose chase! And we had to drive through football traffic both there and back which made it more than an hour round trip! The reason for the football traffic was that today was the Scottish Cup final at Hampden between Hibs and Hearts. After Ally left for his gig, which is at some golf club in Ayrshire, Davie and Kyle watched the match on television. They were very happy when Hearts won 5 - 1. Meanwhile I decided to do a bit of rearranging in my kitchen to accommodate my new mixer. An afternoon of pleasant domesticity followed and I am delighted with the results. It's not that I don't enjoy James' company, but sometimes I do like to do my own thing at my own pace. I played my music and pottered around to my heart's content, carefree and uncriticised. And my kitchen all clear and gorgeous with my new toy in pride of place! 

Colour Match

The last couple of days has been a blur of reading and scribing for exams, which is a surprisingly exhausting task because you are willing the pupil to do well but can't help them - this goes against the grain for a teacher. If the pupil dictates a good answer you feel delighted but if they miss the point you feel very frustrated. It has been nice to be home after our intrepid Duke of Edinburgh expedition and I have been enjoying James and the boys' company; Cat came round for tea last night and we all had a jolly time. I think that this is serious between Ally and Cat. James and I have booked all the accommodation for our holiday to Assynt in July. I'm really looking forward to it because I get withdrawal symptoms if I don't visit the far North West of Scotland at least every year. I must have ancestors there! I have taken the decision to return my Kitchen Aid mixer because the colour of grey-black does not match well with the black-black of my kitchen units. I feel a bit silly for being so fussy but I'm unlikely to purchase another one in my lifetime so I want to get it right. The vendors were very understanding and I have chosen Candy Apple Red, on the grounds that a contrast is better than a near-match. Now I'm off to finish checking and proof-reading the teachers' 2nd year reports; rather a tedious task but once I get started I quite enjoy it! 

Home from Perthshire

Today's walk went well; the weather was mainly dry although spells of sunshine alternated with hailstones and a chilly breeze. I was sorry that the pupils didn't see Rotmell Loch at its heatwave best - maybe next time. The pupils all did really well but were visibly tired after their second day of walking. Again the views up the valley were beautiful and we saw three deer moving through the woods on the way down the hill. We got back to school in good time. Ally had his first A Level today, in History, and he felt that there was one question which was just right for him and one question that was more tricky. As I write this blog I'm looking out through the French windows at the garden which is bathed in evening sunlight. Before we had the extension built we could only see the garden properly if we were actually in it, and I think that the big windows have made me appreciate it more. 

Camping at Guay

Well not really camping for me because me and my colleagues are in a very nice and brand new lodge while the pupils are camping in the adjacent field! What a difference from the squalor of our rainy weekend in Auchengillan in the autumn. We have also been much luckier with the weather than the forecast predicted and it was dry all day during our walk. We had beautiful views of the Perthshire hills. Carolyn and I did a lot of singing as we walked along! When we got back to the camp site the pupils all made their dinners and the teachers ordered a huge curry which was very enjoyable. John was playing his own taste in music which included a group called "AC Dixie" playing Highway to Hell! I have such happy memories of expeditions to Guay over the years and although I'm enjoying being here now with the team I feel a bit wistful for pupils and colleagues from expeditions past. Such happy times with Susan, Des, Jim and all the pupils from my previous school. However it's also nice to see this new cohort of pupils enjoying their first camping expedition! 

A day out with my husband

The forecast was pretty bad for today so James suggested that we go to the Scottish National Portrait Gallery. I have never been there before and it was well worth a visit. A plaque on the wall informed us that it was closed for renovations between 2009 and 2011, so it only re-opened about six months ago and it was very smart. I loved looking at all the portraits of Scottish people through the ages. Some were paintings and some were photographs, and there were quite a few sculptures too. There were Kings and Queens, Lords and Ladies, artists, poets and writers, engineers and doctors and actors. Each portrait had an information board bit of information about the subject which was often very intriguing. We enjoyed it so much that after lunch we went back again to see more. Lunch was at VinCaffe which is an Italian restaurant near Harvey Nichols that we have been to before, it was delicious; I had ravioli with sage and butter sauce. We also nipped into the Harvey Nichols food shop briefly but James was keen to leave so I didn't get the chance to linger. I bought some cool tea flowers which I will look forward to trying out. After some more time in the National Portrait Gallery we headed back to Glasgow in driving rain, it was a good rainy day out. Grandma came round for dinner later, she was in good spirits and we watched that Planet Earth (not) Live again. The photography is really good but it's so not live! 

Coffee at the People's Palace

The weekend got off to a great start when we had dinner at Alison and Bill's last night. We had a lovely evening and the time flew by; we got home rather late and had a lie in this morning. James decided to do his annual maintenance of all our bicycles and Ally was studying, so David and I went over to the People's Palace to meet Jamie for a coffee; Jamie was racing on the Clyde with his boat club. It's ages since we have been there and we didn't go to the museum, we just went to the cafe in the Winter Gardens, which I have always loved. We had a very pleasant coffee and chat marred only by a Boys Brigade band who started playing discordantly and loudly, so we then went outside for a walk on Glasgow Green. I was really impressed with how attractive and well-maintained it is, although maybe it looked particularly good because it was sunny.  There is an amazing terracotta fountain with Queen Victoria on top, statues, lawns, an avenue of trees, playgrounds, and of course the river. We walked down to see all the boats from the different universities, and said our goodbyes to Jamie. David and I then went into Buchanan Street to sort out his phone - again! When we claimed a replacement on the insurance they had managed to send him a phone that was not only damaged and used but also the wrong colour - an unattractive red shade that didn't suit Davie at all! The people in the shop were very helpful and after a bit of footering about they replaced the phone with a brand new black one - David was delighted. Home and I tested out my newly cleaned and oiled bike by cycling around the streets which was good fun. After tea we watched a DVD of a charming programme that I enjoyed 32 years ago and have never seen since until I happened to come across it on Amazon recently. Its name is "The Flip Side of Dominic Hide" and it was a BBC "Play for Today". I was glad to see that it has not dated too badly and we all enjoyed it. Peter Firth was so dreamy in those days. He first came to my attention as Scooper in the Doubledeckers, then Angel Clare in Polanski's Tess and as a sailor in Letter to Brezhnev, and many more. We have seen him most recently as the rather miserable Harry in Spooks, he's a good actor. 

Gap Year

Alasdair has not only decided to defer his degree in Law by a year, but he has gone ahead and arranged it with Glasgow University. I am a bit concerned about this; partly because he has no realistic plans lined up and also because I'm worried that I am responsible for his decision. I have always thought that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, as long as it is a positive and learning experience. I went to university when I was only sixteen which I think is far too young. Jamie was only seventeen when he went off to Dundee and although he seems to be getting on well now, he had to repeat 2nd year which was tough for him. I have always wondered if he would have got through better if he had taken a gap year to mature a little. So I have always said that I think taking a gap year is an excellent idea and now Ally has gone and done it! I am taken by surprise. James is not happy about this at all. He feels that Ally has not thought this through and is concerned that he will not go to university at all. James also feels that I am responsible for putting the idea in Ally's head. Alasdair is wildly optimistic about the whole thing and is hoping to get a job in an embassy somewhere exotic. I have explained to him that I think that this is extremely unlikely because it is such a competitive area, but he is unconcerned and is sure that he will find something. Ultimately it is Ally's decision and we will support him, however I think that we all have a lot of discussion and planning ahead.
On a lighter note I did a bit of baking tonight using my new Kitchen Aid mixer. I made a Madeira cake and it has turned out quite well so hopefully I will be doing a lot more baking in future. 

Cheering up

I still felt a bit down when I went into work, but after chatting to a few people I found out that everyone seems to be feeling a bit flat just now, and this encouraged me that I am not alone. I got some useful work done which always makes me feel positive. I was also cheered up by an incident in a French class when we were having a quiz and the pupils were asked what is the name of the new French president. Quite a few of them correctly wrote M. Hollande but one intrepid pupil guessed M. Baguette which did make me laugh - if in doubt try any French word! I also sorted out a present for my lovely god-daughter Jennifer who is seventeen years old today. How the years have flown! I had intended to take her shopping but completely ran out of time. So I asked some of my girl pupils to recommend a store which would be age appropriate and after conferring they decided that "New Look" would be best, and I ordered a gift voucher for her. I hope it's a shop that she likes. Jamie's car has needed £300 of repairs and I still have to pay the road tax so I will have to delay my own car's paint job for a month or two. I wasn't thrilled but there's no point agonising over it. James is in London tonight so Ally, Davie, Cat and I had a curry which is still sitting heavily in my tummy. Why do I keep eating curries when my digestive system cannot cope with them? Well I suppose it's because I enjoy them so much at the time! Davie and I went along to put in Grandma's eye drops and had a cup of tea and a chat with Forrest. And now at the end of the day I feel much more cheerful and more like my normal self. 

Feeling a bit flat

I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm feeling down (oh dear me no, I know the danger signs) but today I just don't feel great. And the annoying thing is that I have no particular reason to feel like this. I feel tired but that's not the problem; I just feel unusually unenthusiastic both at home and at work. Where is all my usual optimism and looking forward to the future? Where is my excitement? Well hopefully it's just waiting round the corner. So I'm off to bed to sleep off my blues. James has bought me a book of poetry by Andrew Greig "As though we were Flying" and I have started reading it; it's very good I think, and I like the poem about Stronsay, it really captures a moment in time. It's so thoughtful of James to buy me a poetry book - he heard about it on the radio - it makes me feel ungrateful for feeling down because I'm so lucky in many ways really. Time I went to sleep! 

I am exasperated

David wasn't sure whether he was expected at Disabled Riding today because it was the May Day holiday. After some discussion we decided that the horses would need mucking out anyway, so I gave him a lift to Maryhill and said to the supervisor that I would pick him up at lunch time. I did a bit of shopping then when I collected him we headed into town to David's favourite restaurant - TGI Fridays of course! We had to wait for twenty minutes so we went to Neal's Yard to pick up some Night Time Remedy for James, and scientific David was highly amused by all the homeopathic products. He said "Why go to a doctor when you can come here?" and other sarcastic comments! We had a good laugh over lunch and David tried out a new burger to see if he liked it better than the Monster Burger. He did like it but not quite as much, however he consoled himself with a large chocolate brownie and popcorn ice cream sundae. Alasdair was also dining out at lunch time because he was meeting Cat; he was then going to the cinema with friends and intended to come home later in the afternoon "to study". Needless to say, tea-time arrived with no sign of Alasdair and then I got a phone call from him to say that he was going to a concert at the O2 - some band called Train. The boy clearly is hardly studying for his A levels, I suppose that it must be hard for him to motivate himself since he has an unconditional offer for Law. Meanwhile Jamie has not arranged his MOT or paid his road tax and may now face a hefty fine. For once words fail me! 

Back to Proust

I really enjoyed reading the first volume of "In Search of Lost Time" last year, or "A la Recherche du Temps Perdu" as Proust would have put it! I have been meaning to download the next volume, "In the Shadow of Young Girls in Flower", and yesterday I did so, and have just started reading it. I find myself quite excited to return to the world of Charles Swann as seen through the eyes of the young narrator; I find Swann to be an engaging and somewhat vulnerable character and I feel genuinely interested in what happens to him next. James and I popped into town today to sort out David's phone (lost, luckily insured, will be replaced) and we had a pleasant lunch for two in Zizzi's in Princes' Square. I must say that the food there is consistently very good, it is one of our favourite Italian restaurants. We had a great table in the open area overlooking the courtyard and we had a good chat about a short walking holiday that James has planned for us in July. Later Grandma came for dinner and we watched a new programme "Planet Earth Live" on BBC1. It was presented by a rather agitated Richard Hammond who claimed to be in Africa but since it was dark and raining it could have been anywhere! He linked up with Julia Bradbury who was in Minnesota watching black bears, and someone else was watching really cute wee monkeys which I think were in Sri Lanka. Richard Hammond helpfully span a globe to show us where the broadcast were coming from, but although it was all very watchable the broadcasts were all recorded so the "live" bit seemed a bit pointless; it was just the presenters talking to each other. If a lion had appeared out of the darkness and Hammond had fought it off I would have found it more exciting. 

A Springtime Walk

We went for a lovely walk today with Heather and Ewan; we took them on one of our favourite parts of the Ayr Coastal Path, from Maidens to Dunure. We parked the car at Dunure and took a taxi to Maidens to start the walk, which is what we did several years ago when we first walked this section. This time however we had to contend with an irascible man; we didn't mind being asked to move our car but he was very rude to James about it! I didn't like him having a go at James, who was already good-naturedly moving the car, so I spoke back to him, telling him that he had said enough, which he didn't like! Our taxi arrived and we soon arrived at Maidens and started our walk. We were so lucky with the weather, it was a beautiful day with great views of Arran, Ailsa Craig and even Ireland in the distance. We walked along the beach from Maidens then walked up through a wood full of bluebells into the Culzean Castle Estate. The grounds of the castle were very pretty; there was a long-bow archery competition on the Fountain Court and we had coffee on a bench looking over the ramparts to the sea. Onwards we went across Culzean Bay then up to the clifftop path and around the fields to Dunure, chatting all the while. Just before we arrived at the Dunure Inn we paused at the picturesque ruin of Dunure Castle. Our walk was about seven miles and by the time we got to the Inn I was ready for my lunch. The last time we were there we just sat in the beer garden so I didn't know how nice the restaurant was. Fish is the speciality and we all had various seafood dishes which were good. After a last look at the gorgeous wee harbour we set off home. It was great walking with Heather and Ewan and after they went home James was already talking about where the four of us could walk next! James and I weren't very hungry after our late lunch but we ordered in a Chinese meal later and then we were invited to an impromptu and fun party at Brian and Christine's! A very good Saturday. 

Happy Birthday Jennifer

It is my sister Jennifer's birthday today, just one day after our Dad's. He always said that she was a late birthday present for him! When Mum was in the hospital after giving birth to Jennifer one of the nurses said that she was a "Fair Baby", because she was born nine months after the Glasgow Fair holiday (2nd fortnight in July). Needless to say our rather posh Mum was mortified to be associated with a holiday baby boom! I remember very clearly the day that we brought Jennifer home from hospital; she was very beautiful and small, all wrapped up in a shawl. My Mum sat in the back seat of the car with me and gave me a new doll (Lily), and my Aunt Hilary sat in the front seat holding baby Jennifer (no baby seat in those reckless 1960s!) while my Dad drove us all home. It must be one of my earliest memories because I was 2 years and 4 months old. I sent Jennifer some Elemis Spa gifts in anticipation of the spa break we have promised ourselves in the autumn, and she texted to thank me. She also got a Kindle from Russell, which I'm sure she will enjoy as she is an extreme reader just like Mum and me. I hope she has had a lovely day and that her boys have all pampered her. 

The sun is back

It's a gorgeous day and I'm in a hammock about to read my current book while the dinner is cooking. It's not my usual hammock, this one is strung between one of the pear trees and the plum tree and I have a great view of tree branches and blue sky. Ally had got the hammock out before I came home and when I was going to get into it he asked me to wait while he "tied it to a stronger branch" no doubt nervous that my huge bulk would bring the whole thing down! Jennifer texted earlier to remind me that today would have been our Dad's 90th birthday, it would have been nice for him to see the boys all grown up, he would have loved that. Jamie has just phoned from Dundee, he is excited that he will be coming to Greece with us this summer. And Ally and Davie are playing table tennis on the patio. I think he would have been very proud of all three of them. I just heard a bird flapping its wings together as it flew past the hammock. I can't believe that I have never heard this before; I didn't realise that the wings actually hit together with a clapping sound. There is a pigeon in the tree above me and Jack has been lying in the flowerbed enjoying the sunshine. However this suburban idyll has just been disturbed by Ally and Davie swinging me rather vigorously! Update at 9 p.m:- Today being the local government elections we walked up to the local primary school to exercise our democratic right to vote. The difference this year was that now that Alasdair is eighteen he was voting for the very first time so the three of us walked up together. Lots of memories of many voting days; as usual we met a few neighbours and chatted to them. Alasdair said that he enjoyed voting but it was over very quickly! Then I popped back into my hammock for a little while until James came and swung me alarmingly in it. Why do people feel the need to swing me when they see me in a hammock? 

That sinking feeling

After a very busy day including an enjoyable trip to a park with a P.E. class, this evening I hosted my EK book club and we had a pleasant evening discussing "Every Last One" by Anna Quindlen. We had a good chat about it and everyone had thought it was very good although horrifying; several people felt that it had made them think of their own or friends' experiences. I mean the feelings you get rather than the actual events of the book! For example, how awful it is when you are recently bereaved and in the mornings you wake up feeling fine for a moment and then the realisation comes crashing down on you that someone you love has just died. It's like it has just happened again and your stomach sinks. You have a similar feeling in the mornings when suffering from anxiety / depression which is why I hated waking up during those times and strangely I also used to hate our perfectly innocent wardrobes because they were the first things I saw when I woke up! We spent some time wondering whether the main character could have changed what would happen, and concluded that she could not possibly have anticipated how things would turn out. Ally and Cat were very helpful in offering drinks to my guests and setting out the supper. I made chicken lasagne which turned out well, and Susan brought delicious passion fruit cakes. It's always great to see these girls and I think we have all supported each other through different situations as well as having a good laugh. 

The Merry Month of May

I think Jack could tell that it's the merry month of May because he was in a delightful mood this morning and spent ages walking up and down on my recumbent form purring loudly before I got up. He kept making me pat him by putting his head under my hand and flicking it upwards so that it landed back on his head, and when I had my shower he sat on the other side of the shower screen companionably cleaning himself with his tongue. His next task was to wake up David which he did by loudly chewing a crisp packet that he found in David's bin, and then running out of the room with the crisp packet in his mouth. When we got downstairs Jack took me to inspect his bowl and watched me fill it with fresh chunks. After his breakfast he scratched the cat post and ran about a bit before sitting on top of the radiator in the back room. No wonder he has to spend so much of the day sleeping after all this morning activity! 

This evening Ally and I went round to Grandma's to put her eye drops in; she is looking great and you couldn't tell that she has had an eye operation so recently. She said her vision is still hazy and I hope that this is just because her eye hasn't settled down yet. She was in good spirits and is going with a friend to vote on Thursday. Jamie phoned to say that he has now printed and handed in his dissertation; it has more than 17000 words and he is so pleased that he has completed it. He has been making bread using our bread maker which he borrowed at the weekend and was very excited about that; he is so full of enthusiasm about everything he does, which reminds me of my Dad.