Ally went to a party last night and didn't come home, even though he said he was going to. He told me that he definitely didn't want to stay overnight at the party, and I gave him £20 so that he could get a taxi home later. I was annoyed and also very worried; I had just read a news item on the BBC news website about a 19 year old in Birmingham who hadn't arrived home from a party, and he was found dead the next day. I texted Ally at about 1 a.m. and then several times this morning to no avail. Eventually he texted me at about 11 a.m. to say he was on his way home from the party. Far from being apologetic, his text was quite truculent. Apparently he had lost his phone at the party and couldn't find it until this morning. I was more relieved than annoyed by this time. When we discussed it he was alternately grumpy and jokey, but clearly didn't want to fall out with me too badly because he doesn't want us to cancel his own party this Saturday.
I decided that since he is of a classical mindset he should pay for his actions along the lines of the twelve labours of Hercules, which were as follows:
1. Slay the Nemean Lion
2. Slay the nine-headed Lernean Hydra
3. Capture the Golden Hind of Artemis
4. Capture the Erymanthian Boar
5. Clean the Augean Stables in a single day (this one sounds more like David's work placement!)
6. Slay the Stymphalian Birds (Jack could help with this one)
7. Capture the Cretan Bull
8. Steal the Mares of Diomedes (David again!)
9. Obtain the girdle of Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons
10. Obtain the cattle of the monster Geryon
11. Steal the apples of the Hesperides (the Reids' apples, a branch of which hang over our fence?)
12. Capture and bring back Cerberus.
Here are the six labours of Ally (I couldn't think of twelve):
1. Carry in James' wine boxes from the garage
2. Carry in and put away the groceries
3. Cut the grass at number 26 tomorrow
4, 5, and 6. Make the dinner tonight, Thursday and Friday (a nice break for me).
The fact that Ally instantly agreed to do these readily is proof that he feels guilty. And he still hasn't given me back the £20!
