No handstands in Waitrose

I heard on the news this morning that the pandas at Edinburgh Zoo may be getting ready to mate soon. According to the BBC news website:
"Male panda Yang Guang has been doing "handstands" and trying to leave his scent as high up the wall as possible to show his virility. Female Tian Tian has been "bleating", normally the pandas are quiet."
James tells me that I am always bleating but he has certainly not been doing handstands to leave his scent on our walls and I would take a rather dim view of it if he did.
The chances of any mating activity at no. 18 have been further reduced by James' behaviour in Waitrose in Byres Road this morning. We had to wait for a table at Charlie Rocks for about 20 minutes so I suggested a quick look round Waitrose to pass the time. I know it's expensive but it has some unusual items and I enjoy a (very) occasional browse there. James was appalled when he saw me putting some lovely ripe figs into my basket; "£3 for six figs?" he spluttered. He was also less than impressed with my search for vegetarian marshmallows "Why? Why?" he groaned. His exclamations of dismay and disapproval were so loud that the good folk of the west end were turning to stare at this strangely distressed south side man who did not appreciate the merits of a display of Jerusalem artichokes or a choice of eight different flavours of hummus. Needless to say I had to cut short my browsing and James didn't properly cheer up until after lunch when I took him to buy a new hat for hill-walking at Go Outdoors.