It's just a ride

A new month and there is an autumnal freshness in the air; the leaves are just beginning to change colour. Spring is my favourite season but I find that I am looking forward a little to this autumn. I feel a flicker of something I used to feel (and still sometimes do) which may be hope, or optimism. Hard to tell because since Mum's illness and death I feel a bit numb. One thing that I do feel and always will is love for the boys and James. And Jack. Davie and I enjoyed our breakfast after waving Antoine goodbye this morning, one of his school friends and her Dad must have had the same idea because they turned up at McDonalds at 7 a.m. too, and we had a pleasant breakfast with them, although I had been looking forward to it just being me and Davie. James is in London today and tomorrow, he says that the weather is lovely down there  Jamie made tea tonight; a delicious Thai green curry which we all enjoyed. Then we watched Bill Hicks "Revelations"; I think he had a touch of genius. The first time I saw him on television was just after he died in 1994; I watched one of his stand-up shows and really enjoyed it, then at the end there was a dedication to his memory - I discovered him and lost him in the space of an hour. The boys haven't seen him before, they particularly liked the "Pick up the gun" and "prankster God" routines. He ended the show with his "It's just a ride" speech and Jamie, Ally and Davie thought it was excellent, which shows that his material has not dated. The house has now filled up with Jamie's friends so after chatting to them briefly I have retreated upstairs to give them peace.