Tattoos

Whilst flicking through the tv channels, I have discovered a new (to me, I think it's already in its second series) programme called Tattoo Fixers. I am amazed.

The programme consists of three young tattoo artists who fix up terrible tattoos that their customers have inadvisably and impulsively had inflicted upon themselves in the past. Strong drink seems to have often been a factor in these previous tattoos and the customers often relate cheerfully that they don't remember getting the tattoos at all. Sometimes the tattoos are simply badly done, such as the picture of a baby's hand which a young Mum had wanted, which unfortunately had turned out like a scary, wrinkly old hand. Or they may bring back memories of a past relationship, now best forgotten, except for the tattoo which is of course still there. And some tattoos are truly embarrassing, like that of a football fan who had a tattoo done of a stick figure football fan urinating onto a football shirt from the opposing team.

So in come the hapless customers to the Tattoo Fixers studio where they are greeted by a chirpy receptionist who chummily joins in all of the consultations. After the tattoo artists and receptionist gasp in horror at the dreadful tattoo (we always see their open-mouthed reactions before we see the actual tattoo) they have a scarily brief consultation, do a few sketches, and set about covering up the offending tattoo - and here's what makes this programme great - with an even WORSE tattoo. 

Aye there's the rub. In order to cover up the original "artwork" the new tattoo has to be quite big - and the tattoo artists (who are well festooned with tattoos themselves) are not shy of making it very big indeed! Bigger, I think, than it needs to be.

Big and solid, with dark colours. The designs I saw this week included a wolf's head howling at the moon, a coiled up snake, and a bizarre deaths head surrounded by roses. I almost preferred the urinating football player! Well not really, but the huge tattoos on this programme are, in my opinion, very ugly. I don't have a tattoo myself although I have considered it, so I'm not against tattoos per se and I have seen tattoos that look very attractive. But not these ones!

The customers invariably say that they love their new tattoos, but I'm not so sure; I think I can see some of them flinching when they look in the mirror. Then they quickly adjust their shocked features into a big smile. I watched the programme in absolute fascination and can't wait to tune in again.