Still too much

I'm still feeling very anxious but I'm trying to be positive and I appreciate the support of some of my best members of staff who have stepped up to encourage me. I have spoken to the head teacher and explained that the situation is not sustainable and that the department needs a Principal Teacher. I would be happy to be either the Principal Teacher or Depute Head (I will always be Depute Head one day a week anyway due to my contract when I job-shared with Jackie) but I cannot continue to do both jobs. He took it on board but said that any changes would need to wait until August. 

In happy news, James and I booked a cruise for the October break today! There is nothing like the prospect of a great holiday to take my mind off my worries - I have been described by a friend as a "holiday whore" which I think is very funny! Although I think that I prefer the term "holiday tart!" So every time that I start worrying, I divert my mind to my cruise itinerary.
I have hired a cleaner for the house which is a practical and positive move and should take some of the pressure off me. 
And best of all! David logged into the UCAS website a few days ago and he has got a conditional offer to study BioChemistry at Aberdeen! He will need to get two Bs in his Advanced Highers (Biology and Chemistry) which will not be easy but well done to David; this is his first conditional offer. I'm very proud of the boy.

Too Much

I'm having a difficult time and my anxiety levels are going through the roof. My recent promotion involves a huge amount of work, which I expected. I pride myself on being a hard worker. However when Jackie started this job she had less a dozen pupils, and the number has slowly increased each year until now the Base is bursting at the seams with more than fifty high tariff pupils. By the time the numbers were increasing I was officially DHT one day per week, however I was seen as Jackie's second in command every day, and I was always there to step in when she needed me, and I did. This was a great learning experience for me, but now that I am doing the job on my own I don't have a "Susan" to support me! For example if I need to leave school for a meeting at a Primary School or at Head Office in Hamilton, there is nobody with the experience and knowledge to take charge of the Base. Officially another DHT can be summoned if there's a problem with a pupil, but they don't have knowledge of strategies for pupils with Autism. So the best that they can do is contain the situation and phone me to return immediately. Some of my staff are excellent, especially Jennifer, but it's not the same as having another member of management. The Base is bigger than it has ever been and I really should have a Principal Teacher to work with me and share the workload. For comparison, my previous ASN school has about 120 pupils and has a Head Teacher, a DHT and two principal teachers. I have 58 pupils and the only manager is me as DHT. I do have less curriculum to deliver, because a Base can access subject departments in the wider school, but we still provide about half of our pupils' curriculum and all of their learning support and complex pastoral care and timetabling and arranging transport. I honestly think that I'm good at my job and I enjoy it, but it's too much for one person, there are simply not enough hours in the day to do everything that I need to do. Add to that leading the Duke of Edinburgh Award for the whole school and I'm seriously overloaded. So unfortunately I'm not blogging very much - I just don't have the time or energy.