Still too much

I'm still feeling very anxious but I'm trying to be positive and I appreciate the support of some of my best members of staff who have stepped up to encourage me. I have spoken to the head teacher and explained that the situation is not sustainable and that the department needs a Principal Teacher. I would be happy to be either the Principal Teacher or Depute Head (I will always be Depute Head one day a week anyway due to my contract when I job-shared with Jackie) but I cannot continue to do both jobs. He took it on board but said that any changes would need to wait until August. 

In happy news, James and I booked a cruise for the October break today! There is nothing like the prospect of a great holiday to take my mind off my worries - I have been described by a friend as a "holiday whore" which I think is very funny! Although I think that I prefer the term "holiday tart!" So every time that I start worrying, I divert my mind to my cruise itinerary.
I have hired a cleaner for the house which is a practical and positive move and should take some of the pressure off me. 
And best of all! David logged into the UCAS website a few days ago and he has got a conditional offer to study BioChemistry at Aberdeen! He will need to get two Bs in his Advanced Highers (Biology and Chemistry) which will not be easy but well done to David; this is his first conditional offer. I'm very proud of the boy.

Too Much

I'm having a difficult time and my anxiety levels are going through the roof. My recent promotion involves a huge amount of work, which I expected. I pride myself on being a hard worker. However when Jackie started this job she had less a dozen pupils, and the number has slowly increased each year until now the Base is bursting at the seams with more than fifty high tariff pupils. By the time the numbers were increasing I was officially DHT one day per week, however I was seen as Jackie's second in command every day, and I was always there to step in when she needed me, and I did. This was a great learning experience for me, but now that I am doing the job on my own I don't have a "Susan" to support me! For example if I need to leave school for a meeting at a Primary School or at Head Office in Hamilton, there is nobody with the experience and knowledge to take charge of the Base. Officially another DHT can be summoned if there's a problem with a pupil, but they don't have knowledge of strategies for pupils with Autism. So the best that they can do is contain the situation and phone me to return immediately. Some of my staff are excellent, especially Jennifer, but it's not the same as having another member of management. The Base is bigger than it has ever been and I really should have a Principal Teacher to work with me and share the workload. For comparison, my previous ASN school has about 120 pupils and has a Head Teacher, a DHT and two principal teachers. I have 58 pupils and the only manager is me as DHT. I do have less curriculum to deliver, because a Base can access subject departments in the wider school, but we still provide about half of our pupils' curriculum and all of their learning support and complex pastoral care and timetabling and arranging transport. I honestly think that I'm good at my job and I enjoy it, but it's too much for one person, there are simply not enough hours in the day to do everything that I need to do. Add to that leading the Duke of Edinburgh Award for the whole school and I'm seriously overloaded. So unfortunately I'm not blogging very much - I just don't have the time or energy. 

A very unusual Twelfth Night

I went to see Twelfth Night at the Citz tonight with Jackie. It was very bizarre and included Malvolio stripping to gold underpants and doing a raunchy dance! That's not all; the cast threw balls into the audience, sang, played music, and invited the audience on stage to dance the conga! It was a light-hearted and fun take on Twelfth Night which varied between being very apt and enjoyable, and messing about just a bit too much. I thoroughly enjoyed the evening, I love going to the theatre. And I love going to the theatre with like-minded friends such as Jackie and Heather. 

Hot stone dinner

It has been a really lovely weekend despite continuing rainy weather. Saturday was so relaxing; a long lie, breakfast in bed, everyone chatting and studying in the back room. In the afternoon we went bowling at Springfield Quay which was good fun. We tried and failed to win a "minion" (the annoying little characters from Despicable Me) from a machine where you tried to grab one, and a wee boy in the next lane "high-fived" us all when anyone got a strike! Jamie shopped for dinner, which was hot stone and fondue, a family favourite. Grandma came round for tea too and I think that she was rather perplexed by the concept of cooking your own meat at the table! It was all very friendly and relaxed. Ally and Cat kindly cleared up afterwards (it is always very messy meal!) then we all watched the first Austin Powers film because Cat has never seen it; we had a good laugh. And today there was more studying going on and then we had browse around and a lovely coffee at the Burrell Collection; it's quite a while since I've been there and it was nice to be back. It was cosy in the café with the raining splashing in the puddles outside, and my fruit scone was delicious.
The weather could have been better, but the best thing about the weekend was all of us being together. 

Friday and Midnight in Paris

It is Friday evening and I am in a tremendous mood. It has been a very busy time but when I left work this evening I felt satisfied with my plate-spinning week! On the way home I picked up a curry for five people because all of my boys are home. We had a pleasant chat while we ate our curry and it was really nice to have everyone round the table exchanging news.
Then we watched a film that Mick lent me called "Midnight in Paris", directed by Woody Allen. The lead, Owen Wilson, spoke and acted just like a young Woody Allen which was a bit strange! It was partly set in the Paris of the 1920s which of course I loved because it featured all my favourite writers and artists of the era. I did think that the main character's fiancée was a bit two-dimensional and clichéd - it made his choice too easy. It was a charming, whimsical film and I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

An Island Burns Supper

Last night was great fun. After our showers we had one of the hill-walking club's famous communal meals and given the time of year it was a Burns Supper. A lovely vegetable soup started the meal, followed by traditional haggis, neeps and tatties. Then we had clootie dumpling with a choice of custard or locally purchased Zavaroni's ice cream. Many Scottish drinks were imbibed, especially a variety of whiskies. James and my contribution was the cheese course, which I had chosen from M&S and we served it with biscuits and grapes. The highlight of the evening was Tam O'Shanter, recited by Steven's friend Michael, whom he had specially invited because of his knowledge of Burns' work. When Michael recited the poem we were all absolutely spellbound. I have never heard it so well told; he really brought it to life. I had never realised how horrific the scene in the churchyard is! Huge and well deserved applause ensued.
Then in came "mein host" who runs the hostel. He had already made his presence felt in the kitchen earlier by loudly and drunkenly harassing some young French students and arguing with anyone who would listen about Scottish independence. It was all supposed to be jokey and the French people took it in good part but he was way over the top. He told us that he had written a poem for us and asked if he could recite it. We politely agreed and his "poem"consisted of nothing but swearing. Nothing I haven't heard before but it was really quite out of order and he was lucky that we were such a good-natured crew because we could have taken offence. The evening continued in a convivial manner until we were too tired and full to continue.
Today most people walked the north part of the island, but I had already walked that part during our previous visit so I went for a very pleasant coastal walk with Hilary and Irene north from Kettrick Bay. The weather was much drier than yesterday and the sun even broke through the clouds from time to time! We walked for a good three hours and saw lots of birds including a big heron (spotted by Hilary) which flew off slowly. Despite my doubts about going to Bute in January (I was concerned about weather and accommodation), it has been an excellent weekend. 

Raining in Rothesay

It has been wet for our walk on Bute today. We took the bus to Kilchattan in the south west, then walked to Rothesay on the West Island Way, which was about 12 km. it was raining more or less the whole way and the paths were very muddy. However I was properly attired in waterproofs from head to toe so I was dry and therefore happy. We spent a lot of time saying to each other "This would be lovely if the weather was nice!" because the low clouds and rain obscured the views. It was however very pleasant to get out for a walk and the company was excellent (Hilary, Steven, Susan and Debbie.) James and Steven scouted ahead and found us a cosy clearing in the woods which was almost completely dry, so we were able to sit down for lunch. At last Rothesay appeared in the distance and we skirted round the back of it before descending to the front and the comforts of our hostel. The hostel is much nicer than I had feared; warm and clean with good showers. I wonder why Rothesay appears so run down compared with other Scottish seaside towns like Brodick or Elie? We passed quite a few abandoned buildings on the way into town, it would look much better if they were demolished. Perhaps the rainy weather makes everything look worse, and there are some nice wee pubs and restaurants near the centre - we had a very nice dinner in a bistrot called Harry Ha's last night before joining the others for a drink at The Esplanade. But overall I think the place definitely needs some investment.