Pasta and cocktails

Today we had our annual Christmas celebration lunch with Heather and Ewan. It was great to see them and we dined at the excellent Italian Kitchen in Ingram Street. As usual it was a fun occasion with good friends, and as usual a selection of our young ones (this year Ally, Davie, Chanel and Andrew) joined us afterwards at Metropolitan for drinks. A wide variety of cocktails were quaffed, including the strangely scented and lilac coloured rum-based “Parma Violet” and the foamy white “Breakfast Martini” which contains, among other ingredients, gin, marmalade and egg white.
We chatted about all sorts of things but my favourite conversation started when Andrew suddenly declared that pasta quills are the most boring pasta shapes. David was shocked and forcefully countered that tagliatelle was indubitably the most boring pasta. A lively and lengthy discussion ensued! James and I and Heather and Ewan headed home in the early evening while the younger folk continued on to more hostelries. It has been a lovely day. 

Christmas traditions

Christmas won’t be the same this year without Grandma, however we feel that it will be comforting to celebrate it in our usual way. We have ordered the turkey from the butcher just the way she liked, and the tree is decorated with the star that James made in 1985 on top. We will meet up with Marjory, Forrest and all the young ones on Christmas morning, and then have a quiet traditional Christmas dinner at home. It’s all about family.

Glasgow is full of Christmas lights and music and I have wrapped all the presents. This week we went with Alison and Bill to the Oran Mor pantomime, which this year is “Dixie Whittington and the Hamecoming.” It was very funny and Dave Anderson was excellent as the pantomime dame. We noticed Robbie Coltrane in the audience; he didn’t look in the best of health. We went to Matilda’s for coffee and a chat afterwards. Then this evening we went the GFT to see James’ favourite film  - Elf * - with Davie and Chanel. It is such a lovely film and now we are back at home eating roasted chestnuts and drinking tea.

* Elf is actually James’ equal favourite film with Apocalypse Now and Lawrence of Arabia. 

Bittersweet

It has been a strange week. Although Jamie came home for the sad reason of Grandma’s funeral, it has still been lovely to have him at home. On Sunday we all went on the Hill-walking club’s annual mince pies outing to Aberfoyle; James was keen to get some fresh air and “blow the cobwebs away.” Well the weather was so wet and blustery that it nearly blew us away let alone any cobwebs! When putting on my boots I managed to pull a muscle in my back so painfully that it’s only just getting better now, six days later. Still, the atmosphere back at the warm and cosy Faerie Inn pub was rather jolly, especially when Santa arrived. There were some young children there this year, grandchildren of Heidi and of Jean and Tom, and they were extremely sweet.
During the week I had the opportunity to spend lots of time with Jamie, as did James, Ally and Davie. There were coffees and lunches and shopping trips into town. On Tuesday, an unfeasibly wet day, James, Jamie and I decided to visit the Hill House in Helensburgh, designed by Charles Rennie Mackintosh. Amazingly none of us had ever visited it before. I was very impressed. It’s a beautifully designed family home, commissioned by the family who ran the Blackie publishing company. Recently, to combat its terrible damp problems (archaeologist Neil Oliver has compared it to an aspirin in the process of dissolving) the house has been completely encased in an amazing mesh cage. This is designed to keep it more than 70% dry from rain, while allowing it to gradually dry out over several years. There are walkways over which you can walk and look down on the top of the house. I should add that it also has a delightful coffee shop where we had lunch and  I ate a delicious Empire biscuit.
While in Scotland, Jamie also met up with a few friends, voted in the General Election, and helped us to choose our Christmas tree. It was so great to see all of my three sons together in the evenings, chatting and laughing. But of course Grandma was never far from our thoughts. The boys talked about her and reminisced about things she used to say and do. So this week has been a bittersweet mix of happy and sad. Jamie set off back to New Zealand this evening. We will miss him but look forward to seeing him again when we visit him in February. 

Tribute to Grandma

This is the short speech that James wrote about Grandma, and which Jamie delivered at her funeral, adapted slightly to refer to her as “Grandma” rather than “Mum.” James was dreading giving the speech and Jamie very kindly offered to deliver it instead. I am posting it here because I think that it is worth remembering. The minister made a longer speech about Grandma’s life, of which my favourite anecdote was one that she used to tell the boys; that when she was a little girl she enjoyed dancing down the steps in her school playground, pretending to be Ginger Rogers.
Here is the speech that Jamie gave:

Thank you to everyone for coming along this morning to celebrate the life of my Grandmother, Jean Anderson. I know that some of you have travelled long distances to be here.
Thank you also, for all your cards and messages which have been a great comfort to both Uncle Forrest, my Dad James and the whole family.
Grandma always seemed to be the person who stepped forward when help was required.
While Forrest and Dad were both still very young, their grandmother moved in with them and Grandma became her carer for the next 13 years as well as bringing up her boys.
When my Grandpa, Jimmy, had heart surgery, it was Grandma who nursed him back to health, and when he required kidney dialysis she was the one who got up to make sure he had his breakfast before he set off to the hospital at 7 a.m. and over the years she was a kind and helpful friend to many people and a loving Grandma to the six of us.
However, following the fall 2 years ago in which she broke her hip, Grandma’s mobility became restricted and she in turn needed help. For someone who always liked to help others, this was difficult, but she still found ways to be there for us and was always ready for a chat.
Just last summer my when my Dad fell off his bike, it was Grandma who provided cotton wool and Dettol and made sure that his wounds were cleaned properly.
So she was looking after her family right to the end of her life.
I would like to express our thanks to the staff of South Lanarkshire Council Social Work and, in particular, the Home Carers from Constance Care. Without the support from the Home Carers, Grandma would not have been able to maintain her independence and stay at home for the last two years.Thanks also to the friends who visited her faithfully.
Finally, we are very grateful to the staff at Abbeyfield Extra Care in Rutherglen who welcomed Grandma in when she was no longer able to manage at home and provided a place of comfort and safety for her. It was such a relief to Forrest and my Dad to know that she was being so well looked after in her final few weeks and they tell me that they will miss the home baking from their visits!
I hope that many of you can join us after the service at The Burnside Hotel to share your memories of Grandma.

Farewell

I think that Grandma would have approved of her funeral on Saturday. The family gathered at her house to wait for the funeral cars to collect us, and it reminded us of waiting there on the day of Jimmy’s funeral fourteen years ago. The service was very traditional, led by the lovely minister from Burnside Church, with hymns The Lord is my Shepherd and Dear Lord and Father of Mankind. Both of her sons and all six of her grandchildren were present. Jamie, who had arrived from New Zealand on Friday, gave a short speech on James’ behalf which focused on Grandma’s love of helping others. Forrest and the minister gave readings and then we all went back to the Burnside Hotel where we had sandwiches and cakes. Everyone chatted and told fond stories about Grandma and the old days down at Anderson’s coal yard.
By the time the last guests had left at about 3 p.m. we were exhausted and, back at the house, James lit the fire in the lounge, where we sat and relaxed and talked and played Trivial Pursuit. It had been a long day but I felt that we had all done our duty to Jean and said a proper farewell. 

Murder Mystery

We went to see a film this evening at the luxuriously refurbished Showcase Cinema with Heather and Ewan, called “Knives Out.” Heather and I had intended to see it last week but our plans clashed with our family meeting with the minister about the funeral. When we rescheduled it for this evening the boys decided to come with us. All I knew about the film was that it’s a murder mystery starring Daniel Craig, and unlike James I do like a murder mystery. James finds them to be a waste of time and finds the inevitable twists and turns of the plot annoying.
Well, I quite enjoyed it! Right enough it was arrant nonsense, with a tortuously convoluted and unlikely plot. However I thought that was good fun although it would definitely have benefited from being a bit shorter. James, seated to my left, fell asleep near the beginning of the film and started snoring gently. I thought that this was very funny and turned to the person on my right * to draw their attention to this. To my surprise and amusement, that person was also asleep! Both of them woke up again, although James later ate a Minstrel sweetie and fell back to sleep with it in his mouth, causing him to choke on it and resulting in a coughing fit. Luckily I had a bottle of water with me which I passed to him. When the film ended and we emerged into the car park, chatting about it, I mentioned that James has never liked murder mysteries and we all burst out laughing. The evening was a welcome distraction from more serious matters.

* name withheld for reasons of discretion and loyalty. 

Looking back and forward

So at last it is December. November was rubbish. This morning we woke to mist and thick frost. In the week after Grandma died it was very rainy but the temperature has turned much colder now. We have been busy making the arrangements for Grandma’s funeral next Saturday. We hope to give her the dignified and affectionate goodbye that she would have liked.
We have been out and about for walks, to the gym, and even to a concert of Wagner’s music at the City Halls on Thursday but it has all been overshadowed by our sadness. We just miss her so much.
This afternoon we went over to visit Heather and Ewan who are also going through such a sad time. It was lovely to see them and we went for a walk before a cosy cup of coffee with mince pies back at their house. We talked about life and how it changes and plans for the future. It’s so important to look forward as well as back. We found it very comforting to be in the supportive company of good friends who know only too well how James is feeling.
When we got home Cat was cooking the dinner and Ally, Davie and Chanel were making cocktails. They are all so full of life and enthusiasm. They are Grandma’s legacy and so is our Jamie, who will be arriving home on Friday.