And a Happy Christmas for Grandma

As is usual Christmas has been very traditional and family-centred at Casa Anderson, and I’m glad of it. At the centre of the family is of course Grandma, and I think that she enjoyed Christmas very much. We took her to Marjory and Forrest’s in the morning where we all had a pleasant and festive time. Then she had a wee nap at home before coming to us for Christmas dinner. The dinner went extremely well and we ate our fill - even Grandma, who usually has the appetite of a very small bird, ate quite a lot. She told us that when she was a little girl they had chicken for Christmas dinner rather than turkey. At 3 p.m. before our desserts, we watched the Queen give her annual speech, and then we played Trivial Pursuit, which was of course won by Ally. Although she dozed off a bit (resulting in a red wine spillage that looked like a murder scene worthy of Hercules Poirot) Grandma was very chatty and when we took her back home she said that she had enjoyed the day. She also mentioned that I am the best person at helping her into and out of her chair because I am the most gentle! I was well pleased with this compliment.
Boxing Day has been much quieter. Jamie FaceTimed us in the morning (his evening) and we had a good chat (he had been working on Christmas Day so had only phoned briefly). At 8 a.m. on Boxing Day morning, which should have been his day off, he was asked to fly in the helicopter to Queenstown to attend to wee twin premature babies. With assistance from Jamie they are now doing well. I am so proud of him. He was back in time to have a barbecue on the beach with his friends in the afternoon.
Davie was working on his dissertation all day, and Ally, James and I went for a walk along Troon Beach, which was surprisingly mild. Ally and James were running about on the sand throwing the frisbee to each other. We then had lunch in Scott’s which was delicious and we had a lovely view over the harbour with all the sailing ships.
After a relaxing afternoon, it was time for the highlight of Boxing Day; the leftovers! We all made ourselves a plate of turkey and all the trimmings and it tasted oh so good. 

Happy Christmas Santa

Recently there has been controversy about the lyrics of the old Christmas song “Baby It’s Cold Outside” in the light of the #MeToo movement. Some people think that the man in the song is pressuring the woman too much and too creepily to stay with him. In response, others are outraged that a well-loved song, which has until now been seen as light-hearted, is being unfavourably reinterpreted in a modern context. Personally I have always liked the song and it never occurred to me that it was in any way intended to portray date rape, and I’m not going to change my mind now.
Meanwhile, according to some nonsensical survey, there is a desire for Santa Claus to become gender neutral as part of an attempt to politically correct Christmas. So this week I found myself browsing the news websites too see how poor old Santa is bearing up under the pressures of 2018.
It’s not encouraging. An angry (and disgusting) woman spat in the face of an elf in a shopping centre in Stockton-on-Tees because she did not have a booking so could not take her child into Santa’s grotto. In another example of a lack of Christmas spirit, an irate Santa Claus shouted and swore at children in St Ives during a fire evacuation while tearing off his hat and beard. He also shouted at them to “get the fuck out.” I suspect that this may have been a false Santa like the one in James’ favourite film Elf.
It’s even worse in the USA. In Texas, a man wearing a Santa costume, referred to by police as "Santa," and his wife – referred to by police as "Mrs. Claus" – were driving home when a man in a red car kept blocking them and then began shooting at Santa’s car. Although luckily Santa and his wife were not injured, their assailant must surely be on the naughty list!
Santa did get a bit of revenge though, when a giant inflatable Father Christmas broke free of its moorings and landed on a busy road in Cambridgeshire, causing what the BBC referred to as a “ho-ho-hold up!” And he has his supporters - well wishers rallied round Santa after he was given a ticket for parking in the wrong space in County Durham. People on Facebook even called for the attendant to get a lump of coal for Christmas!
Merry Christmas everyone. 

The Lying Bitch and the Wardrobe

Today we had our traditional Christmas lunch with Heather and Ewan at the excellent Italian Kitchen, followed by drinks at the Metropolitan. We were joined there by several of our progeny and girlfriends. We all chatted non stop and I couldn’t believe how the afternoon just went by in the blink of an eye. I really enjoy this celebration on the last Sunday before Christmas, and I love that whichever young family members are available usually turn up to join us. Merchant Square looked very pretty with its fairy lights and craft stalls. By about 7 pm the “older generation” (us!) decided to call it a day and we bade our farewells to the young folk and headed home.
In other festive activities, James and I popped into Oran Mor yesterday lunchtime on the spur of the moment, to see if we could obtain return tickets for their sold out pantomime “The Lying Bitch and the Wardrobe”. We were directed to wait at a nearby table, so we ordered food and drinks, and were delighted when we did manage to get two tickets. The pantomime was great fun and very Scottish, with lots of singing, dancing and jokes. There were only four actors but they did a great job, and it was only about an hour and a quarter long, which I liked - some pantomimes can go on too long I think. A clever device was used; the villain “Evilyin” had at her command an invisible army, which arrived with loud tramping noises to drag away anyone who broke her laws. The actors pointed out how this suited their small budget! It was hilarious to see Dame Beanie Bumpherton wrestling against invisible assailants while shouting “Let go of me you bastards!”
And then we went down to Dunlop yesterday evening where we were treated to a delicious dinner and convivial evening by Christine and Gerry; we all ended up playing the “National Trust Board Game” which was not only fun but full of interesting facts. The dream team of Gerry and James triumphed over the rest of us!
James is slumbering gently beside me as I write this. There is no sign of Ally, Cat, Davie or Chanel, who are presumably still out partying with Andrew! 

Winter Solstice

Well here we are on the shortest day of the year. In fact we heard on the radio today that the exact time of the winter solstice would be at 10.23 p.m. We were not able to raise a toast to the solstice at that precise moment though, because we were at the GFT watching one of James’ favourite films, Elf. It is a feel-good Christmas film that we both (but especially James!) find very funny. Some of its scenes are priceless. James particularly enjoys Buddy’s excitement when he hears that Santa will be coming to the department store; “I KNOW him!” and I love it when Buddy sees a sign outside a café in New York advertising the “World’s Best Coffee” and he rushes inside to congratulate the bemused staff on their achievement! It was all good fun and I felt quite moved at the end.
In other news, I took Grandma Christmas shopping this week. She has delegated some of her shopping but was understandably keen to do some herself, and we had a very pleasant time together. All of our own Christmas shopping has been purchased, wrapped, and where required, posted. The turkey and trimmings have been ordered from the butcher and will be collected by Ally and Davie on Christmas Eve. A massive Sainsbury’s delivery of all the rest of the festive food will be delivered tomorrow morning. In other words, a very traditional Anderson Christmas, and I’m looking forward to it. 

I became an Ice Breaker

This evening I went to see The Bodyguard at the Theatre Royal with Heather. It was very popular and the surrounding restaurants were packed with theatre-goers beforehand - we went to Ask Italian and I have never seen it so busy. Alexandra Burke played the rock star Rachel and she really was very good; her voice is magnificent. Benoit Marechal played the bodyguard and although his character didn’t need to sing or dance much he was a good actor with a nice touch of humour and I predict a major film breakthrough for him soon. They were supported by an enthusiastic cast of singers and dancers. I have never seen the film so the story was all new to me, and it made me feel very nostalgic for the music of Whitney Houston, who was my age and became famous in the 1980s when we were in our early twenties. The mainly female audience loved the show, and there was much ribald laughter when the baddie appeared shirtless at one point; not quite producing the sinister effect that I’m sure the director was aiming for! I thoroughly enjoyed the evening.
I heard an amusing anecdote today. A friend had been at a church house group recently and, by way of introduction, had mentioned to two people who didn’t know each other that they both knew me. This swiftly developed into an ice breaker:
“My name is ..... and I know Susan Anderson because I used to be her doctor”
“My name is ..... and I know Susan Anderson because I went to Uganda with her”
“My name is ..... and I know Susan Anderson because I’m in her book group and I went to London with her”
“My name is ..... and I know Susan Anderson because I used to job share with her” etc.
Eventually someone said “My name is ..... and I don’t know Susan Anderson!”
I thought that this was very funny! 

Oh what fun we had

I’m wide awake in the middle of the night because we had a wee late night family emergency (it was to do with Grandma and she’s fine, but my adrenaline rush has not quite subsided!) We were at the Madness concert at the Hydro this evening with Alasdair and it was excellent, we were all on our feet dancing and singing. My absolute favourite Madness song is “Our House” but there are so many that I also like, for example “Wings of a Dove” and “Baggy Trousers.” The lyrics of the latter reflect wryly and kind of fondly on Suggs’s schooldays and it made me think of my teaching days; there were stressful times but also good times. It was certainly never dull!
I met two former pupils by chance today; one in the Post Office and one in a café. This is not an unusual occurrence, given that I live near many of my former schools, and I always find it a pleasant experience. One of them surprised me by apologising for the way he had behaved in my class and said “I’m sorry that I was such a nightmare!” Actually he wasn’t that badly behaved as I recall, and it was nice to see that he has grown into a handsome and pleasant young man. The other pupil has always been a delight; she rushed over to give me a hug, and again it was great to see her all grown up and happy. Both encounters made it all seem worthwhile! 

Cookie Sugarsocks

We were rather disappointed on Saturday that we couldn’t make our traditional annual trip to Aberfoyle to purchase our Christmas tree. This was because of a truly appalling weather forecast, which included not only the possibility of heavy snow, but also “freezing rain”, which the BBC radio weather report assured us would turn into a sheet of ice as soon as it touched the ground. *  We decided that discretion was the better part of valour, and decided to support a local business instead, the festively named “Elfie Trees”, which is a short walk from our house.
We found it easily enough because there were indeed a few elves hanging about the entrance, and in fact it was a really nice wee set up, with a Santa’s grotto and shop as well as a decent choice of Christmas trees. One of the elves looked rather familiar and turned out to be our lovely neighbour and trusty cat-sitter, Tina. We found out that her elf name is Cookie Sugarsocks, which is not something that we will let her forget in a hurry!
Ally, Davie and James soon got the tree set up in the lounge and we lit the fire and spent a very pleasant afternoon decorating it, listening to our good old Christmas music CD **, and playing Trivial Pursuit (a blast from the past!) Then Marjory, Forrest, Jenny and Lucy came round for a Chinese meal later and we all watched the final of Strictly Come Dancing, which was great fun.
Sunday has been a lovely day. I wasn’t very enthusiastic when James decided that we needed a trip into town to finish off the Christmas shopping, but actually it went extremely smoothly. We were both in quite an inspired mood and were very happy with our purchases. We finished our trip with tea and scones in the café in John Lewis, at a wee table overlooking all the Christmas lights in Buchanan Galleries. Back home, both Cat and Chanel had arrived in Cambuslang and so there were a lively group of seven of us when Grandma came round for tea. Grandma was on good form, chatting away, and we all enjoyed Cat’s home made brownies with ice cream.

* the weather didn’t turn out as bad as predicted. The snow fell much further north than us, and the road conditions weren’t too bad. However it would have been very dreich on our outing, so we were still happy with our decision.

** Ally always claims that his favourite Christmas song is the almost forgotten "What are we going to get for 'er indoors", a humorous festive song from 1983 by Dennis Waterman and George Cole from the old television programme "Minder." I think that he's being ironic.